Carver: Past Lies (Adair Empire Book 5) Page 3

  My digits twitch to reach back for Mercy and show my force. King is standing in the doorway of the war room watching, knowing, that whatever this is, won’t be good.

  “Meadow Riley,” is all he says. My attention perks up.

  “What about her?” King questions.

  “You know her? She’s one of yours, yes?” I can detect a slight Russian accent with each word.

  “What about her?” I repeat King’s words with more force.

  The man on the right laughs, “So she’s yours? Grebanyy Amerikanets,” he spits out in Russian.

  I know it’s an insult from his tone. “What the fuck you just say?” My shoulders hunch and I reach for Mercy without thought as I prepare to strike.

  “Kiska Russkiye,” Dimitri snaps back coming up behind me. “Speak English, kiska.”

  “You speak fucking Russian?” Atticus looks to him like he’s got two heads.

  “Petrov, man. Where did you think the name came from?” Dimitri shakes his head.

  “Dostatochno!” Vashchenko slices his hand through the air to cease more fighting. “The girl is yours or no?”

  “You’re in my house, Viktor, watch yourself.” King steps forward. “She is my sister-in-law.” His head nods to me. “She is Carver’s woman.”

  The man to the right snorts again, and my steps carry me to him. Raising Mercy to his throat, I warn, “One more noise and she slips across your jugular with precision.” He swallows but remains silent. I look to Viktor. “What about Meadow?”

  “My kid sister rooms with her at Duke. She’s in a bad way right now.” The man doesn’t pull any punches.

  “Bad way, how?” King asks as I back off from the man in front of me and head for the garage. I don’t need to know how bad to realize that I’ve fucked up by letting her go. By believing her when she said she needed the space.

  I fucked up, and now she’s paying for it.

  Again.

  “Nightmares. She doesn’t sleep.”

  “Bugimen visits her. Makes her boyus’,” the silent one says as I leave.

  Boogeyman? Not hard to translate that one. That boogeyman hasn’t met my monster yet. I’ll scare that son of a bitch off before I allow her to have another night of suffering.

  Meadow

  She watches me. Hates that I seem so weak. But she has no idea of the hell I’ve gone through. I wasn’t even certain I fully understood the severity of it until the nightmares started.

  I jump at my own shadow now. It’s gotten to the point that leaving our dorm room has become a task I’d rather avoid.

  “You need to get up, Meadow. Get out. Do something other than shiver on your bed. This isn’t healthy.” I don’t know why she cares so much. Up until these past few weeks, she hasn’t given one thought to me. Danika Vashchenko doesn’t like anyone.

  Sleep, food, life…none of it seems important anymore. I thought I was making the right choice by leaving. Staying away from Carver when he’s all I crave. I want to feel his arms wrapped around me, his lips on mine. I want Carver to have every part of me that any other man has never touched.

  Trepidation holds me back from accepting what we are to become. Anxiety has taken a firm hold of my emotions and refuses to let go. When Lilith tried to tell me that Thomas had gotten into my head, I thought her foolish. He said and did things to me, but I thought I could move on. I was wrong, so very wrong.

  I haven’t moved on. I’ve been stuck in this room with nothing but regrets to keep me company.

  “Viktor went to them.” Danika’s long, dark hair is braided to the side and her brown eyes that sparkle with mischief gaze down at me with worry.

  I don’t have to ask who them is. I know. I also know Carver will be coming. “How long?”

  She shrugs. “He left yesterday. So likely today.” A loud banging sounds from the door. “Or now.” She laughs.

  A tear drips from the corner of my eye as she opens the door and reveals Carver looking haggard and murderous as he pushes his way into the room with Dimitri and Castiel behind him.

  Carver crawls onto the end of the bed, pushing my legs open to make room and covers my body from head to toe as he lays on me. His face is buried in my neck, and for the first time in weeks, I feel a sense of peace settle in my bones. The constant terror has fled with the feeling of his heart beating along with mine. His harsh breaths against my neck relax my body as his hands circle around my back.

  “Never should have let you go,” he growls out.

  “Carve, we’re gonna go grab some food,” Cas calls out as the door clicks behind them.

  “I wish I’d stayed,” I admit for the first time.

  “Not letting you go,” he hisses, pushing his body further into mine. The way we’re positioned, I can’t miss the hardening of his cock as he shifts. “I just need…” His words are garbled. “Just like this.”

  Time fades as he cocoons me, not once letting his full weight bear down on me. We stay in suspended comfort while my body acclimates itself to knowledge that I’m safe in his arms.

  Being with Carver is both easy and difficult. He brings out all of these feelings I’m unfamiliar with but am eager to explore all the while making me wonder if he’s what’s right for me.

  He’s cold and hard. I know from rumors that he won’t bat a lash at killing someone he perceives has done him wrong. Though, he’s tried to keep that part of himself hidden from me.

  Which begs the questions…

  Can we honestly be together when he hides so much of his true nature, and am I ready to accept the beast that lays dormant inside?

  “Stop thinking so hard.” He growls like my thoughts are offensive to him.

  “I can’t seem to stop.” Even though I’m exhausted, my mind is working overtime as I worry and stress about how we can have a life. Any semblance of a normal one has never been a question. Though, a simple one created from our own peace would be heavenly.

  “Whatever indecisions you have, let me take care of them.” How I wish. “Tomorrow, Meadow. Tomorrow is soon enough.”

  Could it really be that easy?

  5

  Carver

  I held Meadow all through the night. Only once having to soothe her nightmares as she cried out. While Thomas may not have hurt her beyond bruises, he did a number on her psyche.

  She wasn’t prepared in the same ways as Lilith or Ariel when they fought back. Meadow was too pure to know what a man like him was truly capable of. We were lucky in finding her so quickly; however, I’m sure that wasn’t part of his plan. He probably thought he hid his tracks well enough. Likely didn’t count on Daniel being so proficient behind a keyboard.

  I don’t often allow my need for vengeance to take over, but that day, I did. It couldn’t be helped, really. I was strategic in how I hurt him. How and where I directed my blade through his flesh because I didn’t want him dead. Not yet. Too many people need to exact their revenge before I end his life.

  If Dimitri hasn’t already.

  Meadow’s roommate pissed him off at dinner last night after flirting with some men at another table when Dimitri brushed off her flirtations, so he left with Castiel. He’s likely gone back to the hospital, and I don’t blame him one bit.

  What I don’t understand, yet, is how I’m going to convince Meadow that we’re destined to be together. I can’t promise her roses and fucking sunshine. I can give her this obsessive need festering deep in my soul to keep her happy and safe. I don’t know if that’s even what a woman wants.

  The longer she’s cuddled in my arms, the harder I’m finding it to accept the idea of letting her go. She has a life here at school, and I’m not an idiot, I know that means something to her. This place isn’t for the weak of mind. To be here, I know she’s smart, has goals of being more than what life has handed her.

  As she rolls in my arms, cradling her ass against my raging cock, I close my eyes and savor this bliss. The feel of her, even through clothes, is nearly more than I can bear.

&
nbsp; I’ve never had these urges before Meadow. Nothing has ever gotten me off the way killing a man has.

  Nothing until her.

  Meadow is special. She’s beauty and light to my dark beast. I have the feeling that being with her, buried in her lithe body, is going to surpass sliding Mercy through the ribs of my enemy and into his heart.

  “Carver,” she whispers on a sigh. Her shirt lifts to bare her stomach as she rolls back into me further. With one arm under her head, my other is free to explore her exposed flesh in any fashion I choose.

  I lightly run my fingers—my tattooed flesh a dark contrast to her pale skin—across her hips, pushing the edge of her pants down to reveal pale pink lace that blends with her creamy skin.

  Reaching over to her table, I grab my blade and carefully slice it through the fabric of her shirt, letting it cut up to her chin. So sharp. There isn’t a sound made as I place it on the bed and pull her shirt apart.

  Her breasts, a handful each, are bare from any restrictions to my perusal. I watch as the cool air hits her nipples, and they pebble into firm peaks begging for my touch.

  Fascinated, I lean my head on her shoulder and glide my hand up her stomach to her chest. Her breathing picks up, and I know she’s beginning to wake. Cupping one of her globes in my hand, I massage her gently and murmur, “So soft.”

  “Carver?” Her voice is uncertain as her hand meets up to mine. She doesn’t pull away, just holds me in place.

  I look to her, seeing the questions swirling in her gaze as my thumb rubs across her nipple with a rough swipe. “Do you like this?”

  “Yes.” Her voice is husky.

  Letting her roll to her back, I take my place from the night before between her splayed thighs and lay my head between her tits as I grind my cock against her pussy.

  The filthy images that enter my mind when she pushes up into me are overwhelming in their intensity, and I have to close my eyes. Only, it makes it worse. I can nearly feel the warmth of her pussy around my bare cock as I slam into her from behind. The feel of her hands reaching back for my hips to hold me close can’t be contained. With her hair knotted in one fist and the other wrapped around the back of her neck, I’ll bring us both to paradise over and over again.

  “Oh god!” Her breathy moan brings me back to reality, and it’s then I feel it. A tingling in my spine, a sudden rush of pleasure more intense than ending a life breaks free from me, and I feel myself letting go as I rock into her core with more force, so she follows me into oblivion. “Carver!” Meadow cries into the quiet room as I wrap my lips around one of her nipples and suck her deep into my mouth, biting as her nails dig into my back, breaking skin.

  “I can’t let you go,” I tell her. Not giving either of us a minute to catch our breath. The rush of pleasure is addictive. The feelings she evokes make me crave more. A deeper connection. I need it more desperately than my next breath, and I can only get it from her. No one else will give me this feeling of complete rapture.

  Meadow

  I don’t know what just happened. How. Nothing. I understand, of course, but I just don’t.

  One minute I’m sleeping peacefully then the next, I’m awakened by a gentle touch that I didn’t think Carver was capable of. I never would have guessed he could do soft.

  For me, he did.

  I regret nothing. Not with him.

  The way he made me feel as I came apart is inexplicably the best I’ve felt in years. There’s been love, loss, pain, but he made it better. Carver pushed every negative thought and feeling away with delicate touches, and I want so much more.

  “I can give you everything,” he says into my chest. Neither of us has moved. “More than this place can.”

  “You want me to leave?”

  A month ago, I’d have said forget it.

  A month ago, I hadn’t been abducted.

  “Yes.” He makes no apologies for his honesty.

  “I have a life here.” I try to reason. I don’t, not really. A small handful of friends, but no one that would miss me.

  “I’m your life now.” The way he says it makes me smile and laugh lightly. His assurance is solid. “Whatever you want, it’s yours.” He reiterates.

  I run my hands through his hair and think about it. “I want to finish school.” I really do. I want to be more than some man’s arm candy.

  “Do it online. Everyone does these days.” He leans back to meet my eyes. It’s not often I see anything but a blank mask in his gaze, but right now, I recognize a vulnerability I don’t think he’s let anyone else be witness to. “I can’t leave you here, Meadow. I won’t. Every time I leave you, you hurt.”

  He has no idea how true that statement is.

  “I don’t know if I can ever be okay with how you live your life, though.” I look away because I have the feeling if I don’t, it won’t take much for him to convince me.

  “My life?” His head tilts in confusion. “I’m an enforcer. I make the rule-breakers obey. I make the evil go away.” I can tell he really believes that. He doesn’t understand how that could be terrifying for me. Knowing that any day he could be taken away, and I’d never see him again. Let alone the risk every battle will bring.

  Tears leak from the corner of my eye as I meet his gaze, “I could love you, Carver, so deeply, but I don’t know if I could lose you.”

  “You won’t lose me.” I can see the anger beginning to overtake his control. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

  “But what about when you’re not? When something out of your control happens, and you get caught? Or worse, hurt. What then, Carver?” I can’t hide my hurt and pain in not giving us the chance I wish we had.

  We’re at crossroads with no bridge to close the gap.

  6

  Meadow

  Two weeks later.

  I can feel his eyes on me. Everywhere I go, I feel it. The menace and frustration, it’s always there. He’s always there.

  From the moment Carver left, his pain shattering my heart, I’ve felt this ominous presence holding me hostage. Danika thought I was a mess before; I’m sure she thinks I’m paranoid now.

  I hide my emotions from her better this time around. She doesn’t know I’ve managed to pick up a stalker. Or that I have to take sleeping pills to get any rest. Most nights, I fall asleep in the library because there’s a guard there, at least.

  The torment of not calling Carver and telling him that not only could I love him, but I already do hurts more than anything I’ve felt before. He’s a sweet agony I crave like candy on a diet.

  I want to call him. So badly. Tell him something’s wrong, but I feel like it would be giving him hope that I’m not sure we have.

  From the moment he closed the door behind him, accepting my wishes, I should have called him back. I knew it then; I wish it now. I’m such a fool for not listening to my heart. My logical mind has always gotten me into trouble. Now, I’m about to pay for it.

  It’s been storming for days, and even though the sun hasn’t fully set yet, the sky is dark with menace, and my race for the library from the community shuttle leaves me soaked from head to toe in the minute it takes to sprint to the doors.

  Before I’ve swiped my card recording my entrance to the building and opening the doors, a hand grips my shoulder, spinning me around and causing me to slip on the wet steps as I lose my balance. My books fly around me, and briefly, I watch as the wind carries my opened umbrella away like a balloon.

  The back of my head cracks off one of the steps and stars begin floating across my vision, compromising my view of the man coming down the steps. Purpose is in his stride. He laughs as he bends down to one knee, his head masked by the hood he’s wearing, and all I get before a flash of pain in my arm is a smile of white teeth.

  “We’re going to have some fun, Meadow.” His voice is hollow as I drift off.

  Him

  The first time I saw sweet Meadow, I knew she would belong to me. I’d have her to play with for as long as I wante
d.

  Until he showed up.

  He pushed me away, forced me away from the one toy I’ve only ever wanted. I watched with disgust at the way he would stalk her. She didn’t seem to mind his attentions, so when he failed to show up over these last couple of weeks, I knew it was my turn. I knew she wouldn’t turn me away. Not anymore.

  Meadow Riley is the ultimate toy for all of my fantasies with her light blonde hair, perfect porcelain flesh, and bright blue eyes. She’ll fit flawlessly with my collection of pretty little dolls.

  Dimitri

  “What in the hell are you doing here?” I stand as Danika Vashchenko enters Daniel’s room. She’s been a thorn in my side from the day I met her. Always with her fucking opinions.

  Her gaze softens as it strays to Daniel laying in the bed. His wounds are all healed. His body is ready to be up and moving again, but his mind has yet to send the signal to the rest of him.

  “She’s missing.” Her voice is uncharacteristically soft. She’s worried.

  “Who’s missing?” I have a feeling I know.

  Her gaze meets mine, and that’s when I see her distress. “Meadow. She’s gone.”

  Fuck. He’s going to fly off the handle. Carver hasn’t been the same in weeks. He’s angrier. Harder. Less emotional than normal. There’s murder in his eyes, and god forbid anyone who pisses him.

  Just last week, he and Luther went at it, and for the first time since being accepted into The Empire, I saw Luther and King show an uneasiness for their friend as they were wiping Luther’s blood off the floor.

  “Stay with him?” I ask her as I walk closer.

  Placing a hand on my chest, she looks between us. “Daniel’s safe with me.” Taking a chance, I drop a light kiss on her cheek and feel more than hear her soft sigh as I leave the room. Questions swirl in my mind as I head back to the estate about Danika and her motives.